Sometimes Strength Means Leaving
Standing in the fire when life gets challenging is something we all know — in one way or another.
Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or just the weight of everyday life… it can feel like you’re stuck in a tunnel, with the light slowly fading. Like the walls are inching in a little more each second.
Let’s be real: life is hard.
It’s beautiful, sure — but there’s no way around the fact that it can wear you down. And I’m not even talking about the big life crises. I mean the daily grind. The constant pressure. The mental weight.
Man, it can really beat you down.
And I know you feel it. Maybe you think you’re alone in it, but I promise you — you’re not. That neighbor you wave to while walking your dog? They’re feeling it too. Not in the same way, maybe, but in their own way.
We’re all facing something.
Standing in the Fire
Some people might call it “facing your problems” or “standing tall,” but this phrase has always stuck with me. I did it for years — or at least I thought I did.
There was a time in my life when I wasn’t happy. Actually, happy might not be the right word. I wasn’t at peace. There were moments of joy, sure, but never a deep sense of calm.
And really, that’s what I was chasing: peace.
But it felt out of reach — like something other people got to have, not me.
I thought I was dealing with my issues, pushing through, getting better every day.
But I was lying to myself. I wasn’t healing.
I was just “standing in the fire” because I thought that’s what strong people do.
What I wasn’t thinking about was this:
If you stand in the fire too long, you’re going to get burned.
I had a friend I talked to every couple of weeks. One day, I told him I was thinking about moving to Arizona. I said it felt right — like it was time. I could feel God nudging me. I knew in my heart that Denver was no longer where I was meant to be.
That season was over.
But my friend didn’t see it that way. He said:
“Maybe this is where you’re being called to be right now.
Maybe these challenges are here to help you grow.”
I get that. I really do. But he didn’t know what I knew — that I’d been in the fire for years.
I wasn’t growing anymore. I was stuck. And if something didn’t change, I was going to keep making the same mistakes over and over.
For me, the answer was clear: I had to go.
So I packed up my Tahoe — mostly books and clothes — and left everything else behind. I figured I could replace the rest.
With a loaded car and no real idea of what the future looked like, I drove 13 hours into the unknown.
One Year Later
A year and a half later, I can say with total honesty:
It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
People will tell you to face your problems head-on, and I believe in that.
You can’t run from everything. You can’t avoid discomfort forever.
But after you’ve stood in the fire long enough…
And nothing’s changing…
And you’re still hurting…
Maybe it’s time to move.
To shift.
To breathe.
To go where you can start again.
Start fresh.
Meet new people.
Carve out the life you actually want.
It’s scary. But it’s also freeing.
And eventually, you’ll realize:
The fire didn’t break you.
It refined you.
— C. Lightfoot
Scottsdale, AZ
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