Who Is In Your Room

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself the most lately.

Not because I don’t have good people in my life — I do. People who offer real advice, not the self-centered “what do I get out of this?” kind. But I’ve learned to be more careful with who I share things with. Not because I don’t need perspective from time to time… but because I’ve started paying attention to where that perspective comes from.

Because the people we spend the most time with… in a way, we become. If we’re not careful.

So when I say, “Who is in your room?” I’m talking about the people closest to you — friends, family, co-workers, whoever has access to your thoughts and your world. If you surround yourself with people who believe everything sucks, you’ll start carrying that mindset too. And if you surround yourself with people who are steady, grounded, and genuinely want to see you win, that rubs off the same way.

This question has been sticking with me because I see it constantly — especially when it comes to advice. People will tell their friends what to do in relationships, how to handle rough seasons, what decision to make next… and sometimes that advice isn’t coming from a clean place.

We all have a selfish side. Every one of us. That’s why it matters who we allow into our world — and what parts of our world we give them access to. The hard stuff and the good stuff. Because sometimes people aren’t rooting for you the way you think they are.

Sometimes it’s jealousy. Sometimes it’s insecurity. Sometimes it’s someone giving advice while they’re drowning in their own situation. And instead of being honest about their pain, they project it onto your life. What they call “help” is really just them reacting.

Pay attention to the person you turn to the most. If they always have drama, always have a problem with someone, always find something wrong in every situation… be careful. People who live in chaos usually want company. They don’t always mean to, but they’ll pull you down to their level because it feels familiar there.

You can spot it if you step back and look at patterns: constant complaints, nonstop gossip, always tearing someone else down, always “warning” you about everyone. Those are red flags.

So listen — but listen wisely. Take advice with a grain of salt. Watch the fruit, not the words.

And here’s the part I’m trying to remind myself of too: this isn’t just about judging other people. It’s about protecting what’s being built in you. Not everyone deserves a front-row seat to your life. Not everyone gets to speak into your next season.

Because if someone talks about everybody behind their back in front of you… they’ll talk about you the moment you leave the room.

So, who’s in your room?
And more importantly… are they helping you become who you’re trying to be?